It’s not a secret. When people are able to manage their emotions, they can improve the quality of their energy, regardless of the external pressures they are facing. During difficult moments, it is convenient to play the role of a victim. It is the best way to position ourselves in a comfort zone where everything happens to us. In this zone, there is no accountability and blaming others or other circumstances is the natural consequence. The problem with this approach depends on the fact that our subconscious starts believing what we say. It’s simply a matter of time before we become the victims of our own story.

So, what is the best way to avoid this?

Where there is a problem, there is always an opportunity Tweet

Similarly, to the victim’s role, our subconscious starts believing in the stories in which we act as protagonists. This means we can actively influence the quality of our emotions by choosing the story we tell ourselves. In easier words:

We are the stories we tell ourselves. Tweet

So, the question is – How do we change our story and cultivate positive feelings? To answer this, we can share the theory of the 3 new lenses. The most effective way people can change a story is to view it through any of these three new lenses, which are all alternatives to seeing the world from the victims’ perspective.

The first one is the reverse lens. When we start seeing the world through this lens, we ask questions such as: “What would the other person in this conflict say and in what ways might that be true?” This lens promotes the full understanding of the point of view of other people by adding new information and opinions to the table.

The long lens instead brings us to questions such as: “How will I most likely view this situation in 6 months or 1 year?” When we add the mid or long term perspective, we tend to attribute the right sense of urgency or importance to our life events. Often, we overreact to situations. This lens helps to bring back things to what they really are.

Ultimately, the wide lens encourages us to ask questions such as “Regardless of the outcome of this issue, how can I grow and learn from it?”. Learning from the past and focusing on what can be done by us (not by others) promotes a sustainable approach to our future growth. We now have the theory and the new tools with it. Tell the right stories and your life journey will confidently follow the path of your dreams.

Photo credit: Pixabay